Miss LDN

So this is my bonus day (shwing!)

As I mentioned I fell in love while make my record, this is a exert from my journal I used while working on my record:

July 21st 2009

…Honestly the moment [x] leaves I dream of when I can see [x] again. I can’t recall ever failing this hard for someone and we all know I tend to dive heart first into these things. The thought of being away makes me hold [x] hand just a little bit tighter, engrave the feeling of [x]’s skin underneath my finger tips, and the smell of [x] on my sheets.

The phrase ‘Dive Heart First’ just stuck out to me. I didn’t want it to be an action at first but the more I said ‘Diving Heart First’ the more it stuck. I dive heart first into everything I put my mind to. Music, relationships, etc. If I fall in love with it, or I have the passion for it, I don’t just dive head first into it, I put my heart and soul into it first.

That’s what Diving Heart First was. It was the first time I had people behind me that believed I could dive heart first into my music and were giving me the studios, musicians and time to do so. The road I am continuing on with my music may change or grow but either way, my full heart and love will always be behind the music I make. I know it sounds cheesy but I want to thank my fans aka my friends I haven’t met. Every myspace message, email, post, tweet, formspring question, letter, fb message - I read every single one of them. The love and kindness you’ve given and shown me means more then I can ever thank you.

You guys remind me why I play music and why music is such an important part of my life. Hearing that ‘this song’ or ‘that song’ changed someone, made them feel something, or helped them through something is what I care most deeply about. I know what it’s like to sit in your room, feel the world has turned it’s back on you, and you think things would just be better if you erased your name from this earth. But then I had that one record, that one song, that one melody that brought me back down and helped me stay alive. I know the love and appreciation I had and continue to have for those artists and songs will be with me for life. The idea that someone thinks or feels that way about my music will always keep from taking it for granted. Once I write these songs and release them out into the world, they are no longer mine; they belong to you. I hope you guys enjoy Diving Heart First and continue to make it out to the shows and support the music.

Sincerely,
MissLDN

iTunes

When I got to Nashville and we were picking songs for the record, Promises was the first song that came up. I wanted that song first. It just felt like the best song I had written at the time. The album version of ‘Promises’ isn’t really the vision I had for the song. I’d love to re-record the song some day.

There was a person I fell for. I wasn’t in love but I had a massive crush. A massive one but I never said anything. We just walked that fine line of friends and potentially something more. I thought we were going to cross that line of ‘something more’ when they told me they were moving away. I was crushed. I felt like I had wasted so much time never saying how I felt. So I wrote it all out in my head, I was going to tell them goodbye but come clean about my feelings and address this ‘what if’ game we were playing.

The day came for them to leave and my phone calls went unanswered. I assumed my crush had moved away without saying anything to me. That when I grabbed my guitar, sat down and Promises to the East Coast spilled out. I was late for work that day cause I couldn’t tear myself away. I was in a massive writing mode and I just had to pour it all out.

Promises to the East Coast
London Anderson

All your bags are finally packed
Talking about this for so long
And now the dates arrived
Time for you to be free
Move your life out east
Where no one knows your name

And now you’re writing letters home to only to her
Never thinking twice, pretending I don’t exist

Promise you made to me
Were they just secrets to keep?
Because I never told anyone
How’s the coast line without me?
Does the scene treat you well?
Cause I heard that you’re doing fine

So you’re on your own now
got away from here
small town life was never right for you
Is it all that you wanted?
Is it all that you need?
Did the drama find you out east?

Cause now she’s wearing your ring, changed her name for good
said your vows in front of everyone

Promise you made to me
Were they just secrets to keep?
Because I never told anyone
How’s the coast line without me?
Does the scene treat you well?
I hear your doing just fine

It’s the things I never said that will hurt me the most
That I never got the chance for your lips to taste mine
That I dream of your fingers tangled inside the palm of my hand
And I hate that your doing fine

Promise you made to me
Were they just secrets to keep?
Because I never told anyone (Now I’ll tell everyone)
How’s the coast line without me?
Does the scene treat you well?
Cause I hate-

Promise you made to me
Were they just secrets to keep?
Cause now I’ll tell everyone
How’s the coast line without me?
Does the scene treat you well?
I hate that you’re doing fine
-scene treat you well?
I’m not doing fine
-Scene treat you well
I heard that you’re doing fine

Tear out my heart comes from the lovely Luke Pickett. I was driving home late on a rainy fall evening. There is a song called ‘Empty Corridors’ by Luke Pickett. At one point he belts out ‘I’ll tear out, I’ll tear out your heart.’ Just the way he sings it with such emotion caught my attention. The phrase ‘tear out your heart’ kept running in my head. So the concept of the song was ‘If you give me the chance, I’ll tear your heart out. If I give you the chance, you’ll tear my heart out.’ (which was also the original Chorus) That’s what relationships are. You’re giving someone the ability to tear your heart out and stomp all over it but trusting them not to. Same in reverse, they’re giving you their trust not to Tear their heart out and mail it back to them in a 1,000 tiny pieces.

The first verse in the song I think reveals a lot of how I feel about myself in relationships. “I told you not to fall for girls like me, my hearts the best but my mind destroys me.” I am that girl that will write out a reason I love you for each day I’ve known. I’ll kidnap you and surprise you by taking you to your favorite bands concert. When I fall for someone I fall hard and tend to give far more then I should some times. As much as I do everything I can to be sweet and romantic, I think myself to death. I am too analytical. I over think situations, statements, looks, jokes, everything. It’s the most annoying habit to have. It causes so much anxiety!

In Nashville my producer felt the original chorus was too repetitive and just not the right fit. It was a really tough choice to change the chorus. The Original chorus was the entire concept of the song. The minute we changed it, I panicked. I felt like I was abandoning my baby lol. But in all honesty the new chorus felt more ‘mature’, like the original ‘Tear Out My heart’ had grown up a little bit. It worked the original way in coffee shops and jamming with friends, but this version was like understanding the previous chorus and saying ‘Alright I get it, were not meant to be, but since were at this point, before you leave me, why don’t you just tear my heart out.’

Tear Out My Heart
London Anderson

I told you not fall for girls like me
My heart is the best by my mind destroys me
I will ruin everything you want to have
I warned you so you wouldn’t get mad
Please don’t get mad

And the postcards lines were kind of smeared
From the rain and trials while traveling
I barely could read what you’d said
But I got “maybe were better off as friends”
What line is that?

Baby can’t you see
that you weren’t made for me
So before you leave
Tear out my heart

I would of killed for you to say it to me now
To tell me that we will never work out
Well and if god that’s true, best of luck to you
I’ll be looking up while you’re looking out
Keep looking out

Baby can’t you see
that you weren’t made for me
So before you leave
Tear out my heart

So here go once again
Staring at reflections of what we once had
And every bridge I ever built you burned
Well I guess I’ll just learn to swim
Yeah I guess it’s time I learn to swim

I think I was 16 or 17 when I wrote Because Because… I know I could at least drive lol. I know that sounds random but part of the song was about a guy I went on a date with that I had to drive over and hour to go on said date with -_-. Needless to say we didn’t hit it off. Everyone is entitled to go on dates and not have to be tied down. Do it while you can, cause once you find that one person you want to be with for forever, you’ll fight to keep them.

Anyway! The song is kind of a tale of two boys mushed into one. I had been on myspace and saw a guy who had been sending me really sweet text messages, sending the exact same thing to other girls online. One guy was Italian and called me ‘Bella’ (long before twilights kids, Bella means beautiful in Italian.) The other guy called me ‘sunshine’ and always sang ‘you are my sunshine’ to me  over the phone or told me how I always brightened up his day…. God they were cheese balls! Two different guys, doing the same thing. I was pissed! So of course I wrote a song about it.

The Phrase ‘Because Because’ was the first thing I wrote down in relation to this song. You know how when you were young and the conversation went. “Why!?” “Because?” “Because!” I always hated when people used the word ‘Because’ as an excuse. I also liked the idea of repeating a word in a song as the hook. I had been listening to ‘Monday, Monday, Monday’ by Tegan and Sarah. I thought it was fantastic how it was one word, repeated over and over and it was so simplistically perfect.

The store is just a more dramatic telling. The situation that the song was written about isn’t as intense as it gives off BUT I know I’ve been in situations just like this, and I’m sure other people have. We all kind of fall for that one person, who knows exactly what to say to melt your heart, and keep you around. But then you look in the mirror and realize you don’t want to play games anymore, you’re tired of being what someone wants you to be. You need to be loved by someone who loves you for you, not loved for what they want you to be or try to change you into. Don’t take one liners ladies! Have him fight for your mind before your pants!

Because, Because
by London Anderson

They will feed you lines
Call you ‘bella’  ‘sunshine’
Make it seem like you’re theirs
But those lines, they were once hers
He whispers them to me
And they could be yours

It’s just a break down and it happens all the time
It’s just a break down and it happens all the time

Because, because your words still haunt me
This circles keeps going ‘round and you’re causing me insanity
With you, life’s a prison
Bail me out, see you, good riddance
I can’t take this again

Maybe someday I’ll get it right
Stop eating your words and live by mine
Look in the mirror and find some peace
Burn your letters down and maybe get some sleep
Way to lull me into your trap
Tell me I’m loved
Don’t use me like that

It’s just a break down and it happens all the time
It’s just a break down and it happens all the time

Because, because your words still haunt me
This circles keeps going ‘round and you’re causing me insanity
With you, life’s a prison
Bail me out, see ya, good riddance
I can’t take this again

I know what your thinking
Thinking I’m just a pawn
Well here’s a news flash ‘Mr. Me’
You can not break me

You can not break me
You can not break me
You can’t break what’s already broken

Because, because your words still haunt me
This circles keeps going ‘round and you’re causing me insanity
With you, life’s a prison
Bail me out, see ya, good riddance
I can’t take this again
I won’t take this again
Dear Heart, Dear Heart
Stop Lying

(so I know I mass failed at keeping up with the days but I figured it would be better to finish now then never. Sorry!)

Girl in the Crowd I wrote a few years back. I don’t remember much of how I came up with the chord structure. I just remember writing the words rather quickly. It was just one of those songs that kind of spilled out. I kind of wrote my own theme song lol. It was the song I wanted to sing when I was 16 or 17 and in high school. I was tired of being written off by my class mates and my teachers. I wasn’t just another girl, I had bigger dreams then their shit school and how if my GPA wasn’t perfect, I’d never go anywhere in life. I was 13 when I knew what I wanted to do with my life and no one was about to tell me other wise.

Everyone sometimes has those feelings of wanting to fit in. I mean if you fit in, you’re not alone. But trying to fit in with a crowd that’s not good for you, is worse then being alone. I never really fit in with a certain group. I played softball but I was never looked at as one of the softball girls. I was in National Art Honors Society but I wasn’t arty enough to really be that art chick. I was branded as the girl with the guitar, who played at trunk full of funk (our school quarterly talent show) and local coffee shops.

But I wanted it to be a theme song for every girl that heard it. That you don’t have to be put in a mold, you don’t have to be a girl in a crowd. You’re allowed to feel insecure at moments and confident in others. No one is you, but you. Everything you feel is up to you. So don’t let anyone ever tell you who you are, what you should do, and most importantly how you feel.

You are not just another girl in the crowd.

Girl in the Crowd

Test one two three
Can anyone here me?
I just wanted to say
I’m not who you paint me as
I’m not just another face
I’m someone you should know
Yeah I’m someone you should

I’m not just another girl in the crowd
I want to make my sister proud
I’m a little off beat but I’m not a repeat
I’m afraid to speak my mind
But some how I do it all the time
I’m soft of complete but I’m someone you should meet

Sometimes I try to fit in
But that only makes me stand out
I’ve always wanted to look like them
But I never could some how
I was just the girl with a guitar
And I’m just playing not trying to be a star

I’m not another girl in the crowd
I talk way too loud
I’m not too discrete but I’m really sweet
I’m afraid to never find
Someone for me, to call just mine
I’m soft of complete but I’m someone you should meet

Test one two three
Can anyone here me?
I’m someone you should know
Yeah I’m someone you should

I’m not another girl in the crowd
I want to make my sister proud
I’m a little off beat but I’m not a repeat
I’m afraid to speak my mind
But some how I do it all the time
I’m soft of complete but I’m someone you should meet

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